1 Man, 3 Police Cruisers, 6 Police Officers = Frightening!

Alright, so before I go on with the "Main Event" or main point of my story here, I have to tell you a side story which I thought was quite funny yet slightly embarrassing.

Sometimes in all his wittiness, my father will joke about being pulled over by cops. Usually in these situations he jokes by saying "Honest Ociffer..." (pronounced Osiffer... usually indicates a wee bit of intoxication). Anyways, I have always said that because he says it so often, I will one day make the mistake of saying Ociffer instead of Officer...

So the other day just before I got off shift, 3 police cruisers pulled up to the hotel and 6 police officers walk into the lobby. In my happy-go-lucky style I go to say "Hello officers!" but instead out of my mouth comes, "Helloo Ociffers... *shit* Officers". We all laugh at my stupid mistake (they didn't know it came from a joke about driving intoxicated).

MAIN EVENT:

So after we shared a quick laugh at my stupidity, one of the officers says "I need you to stop everything you are doing. We are looking for this guy (shows a picture). His credit card statement shows that his credit card was used here this morning."

EEeeeeek, I think to myself, I checked him out of the hotel earlier this morning!!! I proceeded to tell the officers that he had checked out earlier that morning and that I hadn't seen him since. The officers thanked us for our help and said "If he returns CALL 911 IMEDIATELY!"

WTF!!! What does that mean??? I mean obviously it means that they are desperate to find this person whoever he is. Needless to say, ths person is now on our "Do Not Rent List"...

Frightening!!!

Warning: Athletes (and their parents) are coming! Part 2

Ok so just a note/tip about kids or adolescents staying in hotels. If you are a coach, parent chaperon, teacher, or helper of some sort and you have brought a team or group to a hotel, please make sure you check the rooms with the kids/adolescents to make sure they haven't forgotten anything.

In the past we have found little things in the rooms that young guests have forgotten such as cell phone chargers, cell phones, stray socks and once there was a young girl who accidently left her thong in between the bed sheets. I felt bad for that girl because the adults had checked that room and had made sure to give her thong back to her in the front lobby with every one around.

Anyways, onto my story... About half an hour after Team A checked out and left for the airport, I got a call... "Hello this is the coach from Team A," I reply, "What'd you forget?" He says "well one of the kids forgot their driver's liscence and another forgot his glasses". So I told him that I would have houskeeping look for the items and that we would mail them back to the coach.

Fast forward another half hour, the phone rings... "Hi, I'm one of the players from Team A. I forgot my cell phone in the room. Can you send it with _______'s ID and glasses."

Fast forward to 11:30 am once housekeeping had started cleaning the rooms. This time I get a call from the head housekeeper. "Ok, so I have a list of things to give you to add to the Lost and Found. All items are from the rooms from Team A."

Right now, I'm thinking ok so I am sending them a driver's licence, pair of glasses, and a cell phone... What else could there be???

Well... the following is the complete list of items that we need to send to Team A:
- 1 wallet with driver's licence and care card
- 1 pair of glasses
- 1 pair of sunglasses
- 1 bottle of contacts cleanser
- 1 football
- 1 John Deer trucker's hat
- 2 Athlete's First Aid Books
- 5 dirty socks (two black, 3 white)

Oh aannnnd... not 1 but 2 little red foot scooters like the one below.
Needless to say, the moral of the story is, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS check your hotel room before you leave!

Warning: Athletes (and their parents) are coming! Part 1

Alright! It is March. What happens in March? Spring Break of course! For other hotel sites in more upbeat and popular destinations such as Florida, Spring Break might bring crazy high school and college students who party and get drunk, trash hotel rooms, vomit everywhere, and of course throw the occasional goat into the pool. However, my sleepy little hotel does not receive any of those absurdities (especially not the goat in the pool thing... probably because we don't have a pool).
No no, Spring Break at the TL brings Sports Groups! Mostly hockey teams... and all the "fun" that comes with them! I'm talking adolescent males high on testosterone and adrenaline; running, jumping, stomping up and down the stairs and hallways; disgustingly foul smelling hockey gear; and of course, Hockey Parents!!!

We had two different teams in our lovely little hotel this past weekend,we'll call them Team A and Team B for the sake of anonymity. Team A came in as a group, meaning they had four or five coaches/parent chaperons (all male might I add). Team B had each player's family come individually.

Either way, one night we had a couple of complaints from other guests about noisy people, foul language, and the possibility of these people being drunk at 3:30 in the wee hours of the morning. Normally when we have sports teams come in with adolescents (of either gender), we sometimes worry about those adolescents being rowdy. The interesting thing about these worries is that they almost NEVER come true... for the adolescents at least.

It turns out the COACHES/CHAPERONS of Team A decided to all gather in one room and get completely SMASHED! I'm talking conversations that you can hear word for word in the rooms below that one. Every second word was one only a sailor and an Irish man fit into a normal conversation. When the night shift called up to the room they pretended they had been asleep and that the phone call woke them up. Then when the night shift person went up she saw the main coach scurrying (and I mean scurry... like a squirrel) down the hallway to his room with an armful of liquor bottles giggling away.

The ironic thing about this is that on the team's itinerary it has a portion that says "dress code is in effect" in which it lists the dress code and under the dress code it says "strict code of conduct is in effect". I guess the "strict code of conduct" doesn't apply to the coaches.

Bells and Whistles

I thought to myself today, Kari, what has happened this past week at the hotel? What could you write about this week? Then I realized that this week had been pretty amazingly boring!!! How am I ever supposed to write an entire book if nothing happens???
Anyways, so then I remembered that way back in December of 2007 I had written an entry in my personal blog about the fire alarm going off at work and I thought I'd share that with you all!
Enjoy!
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Sunday, December 16, 2007

If you were staying in a hotel and the fire alarm went off at 6:15 in the wee hours of the morning, would you demand a discount???

I arrived at work at about five minutes to six, and proceeded to chat with the night clerk about anything and everything. We talked until ten after six (as I'm sure you are all aware, I like to talk). He leaves. Two minutes later my ears are in pain as the fire alarm goes off! I didn't even have time to put my purse away.

Not knowing specifically what to do, I grabbed the walk-around phone and the phone numbers list and I high-tailed it out of the building to call anyone and everyone!

Firemen came and went, guests moaned and complained, and I greeted everyone with a bright and happy, yet somewhat hesitant, "good morning!"

What caught me by surprise where the guests that decided that because the fire alarm woke them up at 6:15 in the morning, they deserve no wait, they are entitled to a discount on their rooms! How greedy and money grabbing can we get??? I mean seriously! Even though the building was not actually on fire per say, if it was then this fire alarm just saved your freaking lives!!! I could understand if it was actually our fault that the alarm went off (which it wasn't) but these people had the nerve to say that due to them having to wake up at 6:15 for an event that could have potentially saved their lives, they deserve money! If a fire alarm went off at the local McDonald's, would you demand that you get your money back for your happy meal because your eating was disrupted??? I think NOT!

Now that that ranting is over, let's talk safety kids!
Ever since I was a little girl I was always told that when you hear a fire alarm in the building that you are in, you run your scrawny little ass out of the building to safety! As a result, my first instinct this morning was to get the heck out of the hotel!
Other people's first instincts...?
Hey, thats the fire alarm. I wonder whats going on. Hmmm this must be a false alarm... they happen so often these days! Well, the front desk supervisor is standing outside with a couple of other people. Oh look, firetrucks! Two of them! And with the trucks come firemen! Whats going on? Oh, she's waving me to come downstaires but... gee it's just too cold outside. I'll stay here AND BURN MY A$$ OFF!!!
COME ON PEOPLE! THINK!!!

Either way, it turns out there was somebody playing with matches and lighters and there was black soot all over the desk in one of the rooms. Nothing actually burned in terms of the hotel or hotel accessories but somebody was burning something (although they still deny even being in the room... Stupid Jerk Off!)

So just to recap the main lessons for today, when a fire alarm goes off:
1)Get your sh!t together and get out of the building.

2) Don't expect to get a discount because you were so "rudely interrupted" by a potentially life saving piece of equipment, EVEN if it turns out to be a false alarm.

3) Thank the staff at the place where the alarm is going off for properly maintaining and making sure the fire alarm actually goes off when the building IS onfire!!!

Seniors from Newfoundland Are the Best!

This week the local Legion is putting on a curling tournament and has booked four of the eight competing teams in our hotel. We have seniors from BC Yukon, Moncton New Brunswick, Saskatchewan, and Newfoundland!!!

Now, I really enjoy it when we get a hotel full of seniors. For the most part, when we have seniors staying at our hotel for Lawn Bowling, Darts, Curling, or any other sport-like function, the seniors that stay with us are usually the type that are always happy, quite funny, and healthy overall.

The group that is currently staying at our hotel is quite lively to start with, but the group from Newfoundland is hard to top! When they come back from the evening get togethers and dinners they are usually the ones who noticeably had a little too much wine! They are also the ones who are most sociable with myself at the front desk.

One senior in particular (I don't actually know his name but let's call him Sam... he seems like a Sam) has been giving out little trinkets almost every time I see him. The first morning they were here, he comes up to me and hands me a Newfoundland Flag pin and says "here young lady, this here is the Newfoundland Flag." Having just taken a vacation to Newfoundland this past summer, I replied "I know! I went there just this past summer!"We then started talking about where and when I visited and he asked me if I spent some time on George Street. (George Street is one street that is probably about a kilometer long and it only has pubs, clubs, and bars, as well as a little stage in the middle where they have outdoor concerts (that's where I saw Trooper!)) I told him that we did spend some time on George Street and that I was actually fortunate enough to take in the George Street Festival. Sam explodes and gets the attention of one of his teammates and says to them, "John! This here young lady's been to George Street!"

I'm not exactly sure why he had made a big fuss about it, but I was all aglow because talking about my trip brought back warm and fuzzy feelings and memories of my wonderful time there.

Later on that day, Sam came back to me and handed me a pen. He says "You'll like this here Newfoundland pen... you know, really it's actually a cheap pen but you put a moose and write Newfoundland on it and they charge you a fortune. For you my dear, it is free!"
I of course went home all beaming and excited to even be able to talk to someone about my trip let alone have little goodies from my favorite place passed on to me!
The next day, Sam comes up to me again and hands me this very colourful calendar and says "a gift from me to you!" I was starting to think I was his favorite person after all the little things this wonderful senior had given me. If only he could bring me something more than a little trinket... haha, I'm joking! I really enjoy listening to most seniors' stories and life experiences but I have yet to have a senior quite a funny, witty, and generous as my Newfie friend Sam!

Cute Kids Make Me Love Valentines Day

I'm not a big Valentines Day fan. In fact, I hate Valentines Day. It has become the epitome of Hallmark Holidays! Having said that, sometimes someone does something so wonderful for another person on Valentines Day that really just changes my mind... if only for a second!

This Valentines Day, we had a mother and her two young children staying at the hotel for a few days. I got to know the kids well, and would play with them in the front lobby if I didn't have much work to do. On Valentines Day, one of the kids (she was 5 years old I think) ran up to me with a large envelope and then ran away as if embarrassed. Her mother came into the lobby shortly after and said "I know you don't really like Valentines Day but she saw the card in the store and really wanted to give it to you." Awww... How cute is that!!!Notice the little scribbles on the left hand side of the card... That is her special secret note to me. I'm pretty sure it says that I am the coolest person in the world!

Getting this card from the little girl made my heart go from this...
To this...I'm still not a big fan of Valentines Day, but this little girl did make me swoon for her Valentines Day card!

We are Porn Stars! You Can Watch.

So every now and then (sometimes more often than not) I get people checking in to the hotel that really just make your skin crawl! I'm talking of course about those people, the majority of whom are men, who feel the need to throw derogatory sexual remarks my way while I am attempting to check them in. Sometimes I just let it roll off my back (most of the time the situation occurs because the said male is ridiculously drunk), however there are those times when it just gets to be too much!

Example A: The other day I checked in a guest early in the morning, who when I asked if the room was just for himself, felt the need to tell me that he was getting the room for him and his sex buddy. "Alright" I say in a slightly hesitant tone. I try not to judge all the people that walk through my doors too much. It must be due to my social work courses wherein the core value is "believing in the dignity and worth of all people." Sometimes some people make it really really really hard for me to believe in their dignity and worth, but I digress.

So then the guest, (let's call him Mr. Bojangles... Bo for short, respectively) goes on to ask me whether the linens have been cleaned since the last "sex party" that I had. Of course, when you work at a hotel, not to mention a small three and a half star hotel in a small town, you tend to cringe at the idea of spending a night in certain rooms because there are some things about past guests in those rooms that seem to be etched in your brain (like when housekeeping walks into a room and finds a man completely passed out in the buff with a video camera on a tripod facing towards the bed... but that's another story); thus this idea of me having a "sex party" in this room makes my skin crawl!

Again, I try my best to simply get the paperwork done and over with and get this guy out of my front lobby before I hurl. So I give him the registration card and ask him to fill it out and sign it, to which he says "so long as you don't tie me up and beat me, however you are very pretty, it could be fun." At this point I am regretting having said that we have availability. In fact at this point I am looking for some reason to not let him in... I really hope your credit card is declined. Oh YES! It is!!! YES YES YES! Oh, you have interac... CRAP! But there may not be enough money in your account! ...Oh, there is. Damnit! Ah, but you probably don't have valid ID! ...Oh, you do. SHIT! Trying to keep my cool I simply reply "Don't worry, I wont". At this point Mr. Bojangles said something which I can't quite remember at this time (I must have repressed it in my memory) which made me reply "I don't need to know what goes on behind closed doors" which of course only inspires Mr. Bojangles to say "Yes you do! We're PORN STARS my f**k buddy and I!" (wow proper grammar... I never would have expected it) Yes, that's right, Mr. Bojangles the PORN STAR! (haha, I like making up my own names for guests) "You can come and watch!!! She wont mind." (Insert nervous laughter here) "Uh, No thanks, I'm good!"

By this time I thankfully have all his information and money that I need. I have given Mr. Bojangles and his Porn Star f**k buddy a key to the room and hope to god they stay there until I leave later that afternoon! Of course just before I thought I'd be ok, he calls down to the front desk and asks if there are any porn channels on our t.v.'s. There is not. Then he asks if I have any porn at the front desk that I can bring down to him. I do not. Then he says his t.v. does not work and asks if I can come down and fix it. I sent him our maintenance guy... he doesn't take shit from no one! Mr. Bojangles and his sex buddy did not stay long. Thank Goodness!!!